MRSA a little info (read previous blog update)

Taken fom the Mayo Clinic website

Introduction
Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) infection is caused by Staphylococcus aureus bacteria — often called "staph." Decades ago, a strain of staph emerged in hospitals that was resistant to the broad-spectrum antibiotics commonly used to treat it. Dubbed methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), it was one of the first germs to outwit all but the most powerful drugs. MRSA infection can be fatal.
Staph bacteria are normally found on the skin or in the nose of about one-third of the population. If you have staph on your skin or in your nose but aren't sick, you are said to be "colonized" but not infected with MRSA. Healthy people can be colonized with MRSA and have no ill effects, however, they can pass the germ to others.
Staph bacteria are generally harmless unless they enter the body through a cut or other wound, and even then they often cause only minor skin problems in healthy people. But in older adults and people who are ill or have weakened immune systems, ordinary staph infections can cause serious illness called methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus or MRSA.
In the 1990s, a type of MRSA began showing up in the wider community. Today, that form of staph, known as community-associated MRSA, or CA-MRSA, is responsible for many serious skin and soft tissue infections and for a serious form of pneumonia.
Vancomycin is one of the few antibiotics still effective against hospital strains of MRSA infection, although the drug is no longer effective in every case. Several drugs continue to work against CA-MRSA, but CA-MRSA is a rapidly evolving bacterium, and it may be a matter of time before it, too, becomes resistant to most antibiotics.

Signs and symptoms
Staph infection
Staph infections, including MRSA, generally start as small red bumps that resemble pimples, boils or spider bites. These can quickly turn into deep, painful abscesses that require surgical draining. Sometimes the bacteria remain confined to the skin. But they can also burrow deep into the body, causing potentially life-threatening infections in bones, joints, surgical wounds, the bloodstream, heart valves and lungs.


Causes
Although the survival tactics of bacteria contribute to antibiotic resistance, humans bear most of the responsibility for the problem. Leading causes of antibiotic resistance include:
Unnecessary antibiotic use in humans. Like other superbugs, MRSA is the result of decades of excessive and unnecessary antibiotic use. For years, antibiotics have been prescribed for colds, flu and other viral infections that don't respond to these drugs, as well as for simple bacterial infections that normally clear on their own.
Antibiotics in food and water. Prescription drugs aren't the only source of antibiotics. In the United States, antibiotics can be found in beef cattle, pigs and chickens. The same antibiotics then find their way into municipal water systems when the runoff from feedlots contaminates streams and groundwater. Routine feeding of antibiotics to animals is banned in the European Union and many other industrialized countries. Antibiotics given in the proper doses to animals who are sick don't appear to produce resistant bacteria.
Germ mutation. Even when antibiotics are used appropriately, they contribute to the rise of drug-resistant bacteria because they don't destroy every germ they target. Bacteria live on an evolutionary fast track, so germs that survive treatment with one antibiotic soon learn to resist others. And because bacteria mutate much more quickly than new drugs can be produced, some germs end up resistant to just about everything. That's why only a handful of drugs are now effective against most forms of staph.

Risk factors
Because hospital and community strains of MRSA generally occur in different settings, the risk factors for the two strains differ.
Risk factors for hospital-acquired (HA) MRSA include:
A current or recent hospitalization. MRSA remains a concern in hospitals, where it can attack those most vulnerable — older adults and people with weakened immune systems, burns, surgical wounds or serious underlying health problems. A 2007 report from the Association for Professionals in Infection Control and Epidemiology estimates that 1.2 million hospital patients are infected with MRSA each year in the United States. They also estimate another 423,000 are colonized with it.
Residing in a long-term care facility. MRSA is far more prevalent in these facilities than it is in hospitals. Carriers of MRSA have the ability to spread it, even if they're not sick themselves.
Invasive devices. People who are on dialysis, are catheterized, or have feeding tubes or other invasive devices are at higher risk.
Recent antibiotic use. Treatment with fluoroquinolones (ciprofloxacin, ofloxacin or levofloxacin) or cephalosporin antibiotics can increase the risk of HA-MRSA.
These are the main risk factors for community-acquired (CA) MRSA:
Young age. CA-MRSA can be particularly dangerous in children. Often entering the body through a cut or scrape, MRSA can quickly cause a wide spread infection. Children may be susceptible because their immune systems aren't fully developed or they don't yet have antibodies to common germs. Children and young adults are also much more likely to develop dangerous forms of pneumonia than older people are.
Participating in contact sports. CA-MRSA has crept into both amateur and professional sports teams. The bacteria spread easily through cuts and abrasions and skin-to-skin contact.
Sharing towels or athletic equipment. Although few outbreaks have been reported in public gyms, CA-MRSA has spread among athletes sharing razors, towels, uniforms or equipment.
Having a weakened immune system. People with weakened immune systems, including those living with HIV/AIDS, are more likely to have severe CA-MRSA infections.
Living in crowded or unsanitary conditions. Outbreaks of CA-MRSA have occurred in military training camps and in American and European prisons.
Association with health care workers. People who are in close contact with health care workers are at increased risk of serious staph infections.

Screening and diagnosis
Doctors diagnose MRSA by checking a tissue sample or nasal secretions for signs of drug-resistant bacteria. The sample is sent to a lab where it's placed in a dish of nutrients that encourage bacterial growth (culture). But because it takes about 48 hours for the bacteria to grow, newer tests that can detect staph DNA in a matter of hours are now becoming more widely available.
In the hospital, you may be tested for MRSA if you show signs of infection or if you are transferred into a hospital from another healthcare setting where MRSA is known to be present. You may also be tested if you have had a previous history of MRSA.

Treatment
Both hospital and community associated strains of MRSA still respond to certain medications. In hospitals and care facilities, doctors generally rely on the antibiotic vancomycin to treat resistant germs. CA-MRSA may be treated with vancomycin or other antibiotics that have proved effective against particular strains. Although vancomycin saves lives, it may grow resistant as well; some hospitals are already seeing outbreaks of vancomycin-resistant MRSA. To help reduce that threat, doctors may drain an abscess caused by MRSA rather than treat the infection with drugs.

Happy Birthday to Garrett!

I cant believe it but my baby is one today. Where did the year go? I think he had a good day. He went to a playgroup had a cupcake, got to open presents from Bana and Papa Jim, he really enjoyed the toys, and one came in a huge red bag from target.com. This was a hit for Lainey she played inside this bag for at least and hour. Don't worry its cloth so she can breath. This time last year I was in the hospital recovering from my c-section enjoying my new baby boy. I remember it like it was yesterday. I am sad that he is growing up so fast, he is my baby. I must say I think he is finally putting on some weight. We shall see next Wednesday when he goes for his 1 year check up. Here are a few pictures of him with his new toys and Lainey and the bag.






Now on to a HUGE prayer request.Michael's dad had hip replacement surgery yesterday, which is not a huge deal, but he has also been diagnosed with MRSA. MRSA is a staph infection, that he and Michael's mom both had, he thought he had been treated and it was gone, but they gave him the wrong drug, and was in fact not cured and it was found in the joint they removed during his hip replacement. Let me tell you a little history, MSRA is very common in hospitals, and for a normal healthy person they may carry this for a long time and never know it. Michael's mom used to work in a hospital about 15 years ago, and this is where she got it, although she was not diagnosed until she got cancer. MRSA is highly contagious, although you may not know you were carrying it if you were a healthy person with a normal immune system. So after she died, Michael's dad was tested and did in fact have it. So he was put on antibiotics, but as I said these were wrong. So when he went in for surgery yesterday he told them he did have MRSA, and that he thought he still had it to which they replied we are the experts you don't have it. Well this morning he mentioned it to his Dr. and he said well lets test the joint we removed before we throw it out. So they did and sure enough it had MRSA, the Dr. told him we would not have operated had we known this. The reason being MRSA attacks open wounds and makes it hard if not impossible to heal. So he was moved to quarantine in the hospital, and is now waiting to see what happens. MRSA is a serious infection and can be fatal. Although Michael would like to go be with his dad we have decided that the risks are far to high that he would catch the MRSA and it can be fatal to children as their immune systems are not equipped to handle such an infection. So it is not worth the risk to our family. Please pray that Gary will be healed, and they will get him the antibiotic he needs. Antibiotics for MRSA are ofter resistant and therefore sometimes not effective. Pray this is not the case with his dad. I am not sure how Michael could handle loosing both his mother and father. Gary is a great man, and he doesn't get upset about much, but he is scared. So pray for him. He is also in quarantine, which means that for anyone to come in they must be robed, gloved, and masked. And visitors are limited. I will keep you updated as I find out more. thanks for checking on us, till next time. Remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come................

How can i be a stronger person?

I start off with this because I today was sent the link to a heartbreaking story about a little boy named Elliot. http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons Be prepared with the Kleenex. This is truly a touching story. I had a hard day with the girls, and was very frustrated my the time they went to bed. I read this story after that, and I thought things could be so much worse. I had every intention of starting this blog with stories about how the girls acted today, but after seeing and reading this story, I know I should feel blessed that my children are here healthy and happy to have these days with. So my question is how can I be that strong person and a better mom? I pray each night to have the strength to make it through the day and not loose it, and for the most part that happens, but some days i just feel like I wasn't meant to be a mom. I love my kids more than anything, and I would do anything for them. I want them to be happy and well adjusted children, and I sometimes wonder am I ruining this for them. I do not have the patience for them some days, and i truly feel horrible for that. What is wrong with me? I sat here reading about this child and crying 99 days is a miracle for him, but not long enough for his family. I don't know what I would do if something happen to one of my children. Please pray for us, pray for Hailee's attitude, and my patience.
The girls and I planted some little pots of flowers today, they enjoyed it as did I. I enjoy doing these things with them and I know they enjoy the time with me. I am trying to make an effort to be more fun for them. Hailee will register for Girl Scouts tomorrow, and cheerleading on Wed, so we will again be busy. She loves cheerleading so she is glad it is starting up again. And she is excited to do Girl Scouts, i am excited about the cookies. LOL I am hoping that I can also get involved with Girl Scouts and maybe that can be our time, although i know that will mean getting a babysitter for some of the times when Michael is gone, we will see how it goes. She needs that special thing with me. And I want that as well. Now I will have to find something special for Lainey and I, as she will need it too.
I read these other Blogs and am so impressed by their writing style, I wish I had that style. I am not an elegant writer, but it is therapeutic. I like to do it. I would also like to hear from you guys post a comment, it lets me know someone is reading my long winded writing. LOL
I hope you are all well, till next time. Remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.

As I sit here

Here I sit on a Sunday afternoon, I have a million things I could be doing, but here I sit. Garrett is napping and everyone else is outside in the HOT weather. So I have been on the computer checking up on things reading about the children I check on. Some have passed, some are doing well, and some only have a limited time left. I wonder where do these parent find the strength and courage to face these battles. Of course I know the answer, they find it in Christ. I find myself wondering if faced with this would my faith be enough for me? I know that God has put each and every person here for a reason even if it is only for a short time, and in my heart I know this is the case. But I wonder why do these children have to suffer so? I so want to find a cure for this Horrible disease that is killing so many people. I will be doing the Light the Night walk in October, and had hoped that I could get some ladies from MOMS Club to walk with me and can you believe that out of over 70 women only 2 were interested. I know for alot of these women, this hasn't touch their lives as it has mine. If they would only give me an opportunity to tell them about this and the people that is kills everyday, and how just by giving this 2 hours of their time they can make a difference, but I sent out an evite for an informal meeting about it just to give more info, and not one person would come. Again I don't hod this against them, i was the same way before I was touched by these children, and I know it seems well this is on a thursday night, we have school in the morning we have to get in bed, but really would one night be a big deal? I want so bad to explain to them how this has touched me , how it could touch them too, how it could be anyone of us in this situation. But I can't. Do I send out an email with the facts? Do I try again in a few days to see if another day works better? How do I get more people involved? I haven't asked Melony yet to walk, I guess I should do this. Sheri has said she would walk with me, so that is great.Michael has also volunteered to walk with me, so my goal for this week is to get some fundraising set up. Wish me luck. Well I guess that is all Garrett is up. I will post again later.

Birthdays and Hannah

Well we made it through the first birthday party. Garrett had a great party, as did all the kids. I must say a big thank you the the Kilbey's and the Wallace's they made the day a special one for Garrett. Melony and Sheri have become such great friends to me and I truly appreciate it. Garrett had a fun to be one party, we played outside, opened presents and ate cake. Thanks to Amy for the milk free egg free cake recipe. Garrett Loved it! He got lots of little boy toys, which is something we don't have much of around here.

He is such a Happy little boy, I am so blessed to have my three great kids. After the party the Kilbey family stayed for dinner and then we got ready for bed, poor Garrett was worn out.

Now for The Hannah Montana ticket saga. I was at Melony's at 8:50 ready to buy our tickets as soon as they went on sale at 9:00. We were online, I was on the phone trying to call, and Erica was on the speaker phone on her computer ready to order as well. Right at 9am Erica hit the best available button and like 2 seconds after Melony hit it. Erica got 3 tickets in the 100's and Melony got 4 tickets in the 300's needless to say Erica got better tickets. Then Melony hit the best available again and we got 4 more in the 300's. The concert was sold out in 10min. Can you believe that 10min for a Hannah Montana concert. We were the lucky ones who got tickets. The same tickets that we paid 48 for are now going online for over $300. I am amazed. I must say a big thank you to Melony for getting the tickets for me. Hailee is ever so excited! I cant wait to take her. Well I guess that is all for tonight. Thanks for checking on us, till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love the, today is gone and tomorrow may never come...........

Getting Ready for the big 1

Well tomorrow is Garrett's first birthday party. Where did my baby go? I have been decorating and am just about ready, although my house may not be that clean for the party, not unpacked, it will be decorated. LOL We will also get Hailee tickets to see Hannah Montana tomorrow, the concert isnt until Novemeber, but she is so in love with Hannah Montana, this is her favortie thing right now. I will post picutres tomorrow of Garrett's b-day party. So goodnight for now.

Getting there

Well I actually hung some pictures on the walls today. That always makes it feel like home to me. I still have boxes to unpack, but I am slowly getting there. Today we went to a new playgroup with MOMS Club for Garrett, it was nice. I saw just how much smaller he is than the kids his age and I feel bad for him. I liked these ladies, but I still find myself wondering where do I fit in? I really haven't made a whole lot of friends here, and it is hard. Michael will start traveling again soon and I am worried about being here alone again. I find myself almost ready to scream by the end of the second day he is gone, and it is no fun. My friend Sherry is great for a shoulder, but she also has 3 kids so she is busy with them as well, and they are all either in school or in MDO 3 days a week. I have tried to make a few other friends but I really feel like I just don't fit in anywhere. I hate that feeling. In Ohio, the friends that I had were ones that really got me and still do, and here I just feel like people don't understand me, or something about me makes them not want to hang around me. What is it about me? Am I a needy friend? Or are we just different people from different worlds? I am trying really hard, and maybe that is the problem too, I try to hard and it pushes people away. I am just not sure. Any insite would be great. I am trying to get a team together for the Light the Night Walk, and that is proving to be a little challenging. I think if people would give me a chance to tell them about the walk and the cause, they would want to walk. But most people just don't want to. I am sure part of it is that it is on a Thursday night, but it is such a great cause. I have also taken on a playgroup of my own, so far we only have 3 people, but I think it will get better. So I am putting myself out there and hopefully it will be a great thing and I will make these great friends. Wish me luck. I can use it.
Well I guess that is all for my pity party tonight. Thanks till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.

Happy Anniversary

Today is our 10 year anniversary. I cant believe we have been married for 10 years. I never would have thought I would be married happily for that long. I have seen so many failed marriages, but i am still happy with my husband. Most of the time anyway. LOL
The girls had a busy day, after school we went to Melony's to swim, which they love. My girls are in love with Maggie and Molly and ask almost every day to play with them. So it is a special treat to get to go play with them. Then after we left there,they went to my friend Sherry's while I went to Parents night at Hailee's school. I really like her teacher. She seems to be really good with the kids, and she remembers that they are only 6 and 7 and is not too hard on them. Also her name is Christy, so she has to be good right? Hailee of course didn't want to leave when I went to get them, and in true Hailee fashion started to throw a fit. Man do I hate that, it is embarrassing and makes me very angry. She has gotten to be a pill lately, I think in part to the fact that she is tired and grumpy. But the effects of that are that Lainey is also starting to act like Hailee, and I am not so happy about that. We need an attitude class. All of us, me included. I love my kids more than anything, but some days it is almost too much to handle. I wish I didn't feel this way, but some days i do. I know that is is hard for Hailee she doesn't get all the attention anymore, but man does that mean she has to be the mean little girl? How do I get her past that? Am I a bad mom, and that is the reason she is acting out? I want to be a goon mom, more than anything I want that. I pray that they know how much I love them and would do anything for them.
Well it is late and I must go to bed. Till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.

Getting Settled in

Well we are all moved into out new house, now if I could just get unpacked and find a home for all of our stuff. The girls are loving the new house, and I think Garrett has finally decided he likes it too. At first he hated it, he would cry every time I put him down, but now he is crawling around and loving it. Can you believe he will be 1 next week? Where did time go? We are having a small party for him this weekend with a couple of Friends. I have exciting news, I had to go to the pediatrician last week to get Lainey's shot records for mothers day out and I decided to weigh Garrett while I was there, he was 17lbs, so that means he has gained some weight. Although I am wondering now if he will keep it on, since he seems to be spitting up more, and has diarrhea every time I give him a bottle. Poor little guy.

Moving has been a fin adventure, I feel like we are never going to get unpacked. And I just don't have the place to put everything. We have decided that we are going to like this neighborhood alot more, there are tons of kids and it is a very family friendly area. We met a nice family that lives just around the corner that has 3 kids about the same age as ours, and the girls seemed to hit it off, so hopefully Hailee will make a little friend here that she can play with. We like this house better, it is newer, although it has less space it is laid out better. I think once I finally get unpacked I will feel alot better about this house then I did about the other. I liked that house, but it needed alot of updating, and really all this one needs it to have the ugly wallpaper in the kitchen taken down.

School seems to be going well for Hailee, she has found a couple of little friends and even a boy friend. Lainey is ready for her school to start, everyday she asks "school today mommy?" it is really cute. She doesn't start until the 5Th, but she is ready.

Well sorry for the delay in updates, but we have been without Internet and moving. Thanks for checking on us till next time. Remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.

First Day of First Grade

Well I took Hailee to school today and she was so excited to go. Unfortunately, the feeling wasn't the same when we got there. She was scared and she didn't wasn't to stay. We got there about 15 min early, we found her desk, and I told her to color her picture. I sat with her for a few minutes enjoying the time just she and I, then I decided I needed to get home to Lainey and Garrett so Michael could get to work. Well Hailee was having no part of me leaving she started crying, and despite my best efforts I could not get her to calm down. I tried to leave and she followed me out the door and grabbed my leg, at this point she was screaming and making a huge scene. This went on for about 15 min of me trying to calm her down with no success, I finally had to just go and shut the door. I could hear her screaming I want my mommy as I walked away, and my heart sank. I left and I felt like a horrible mom, not because she was crying, but because I was getting mad at her for it. I felt horrible, she was scared and I was mad at her. How fair is that to her. SO I went home, I got the kids fed, took a bath, and then it was time to leave to get her. She only went until 11:15 today. Well I couldn't leave to early because Kindergarten let out just 30 min before everyone else, and if I left to early I would be in the wrong pick up line. When I got there it was a MAD HOUSE! It took me at least 20 min to get through the line. When Hailee got in the car, I asked her if her day was better and she said "Yeah except I had to sit in the hot sun" I told her I was sorry but I got there as quick as I could. So tomorrow I will get there SUPER early, or I may park at the library with Melony and walk. We will see. Anyway she has said tomorrow will be a better day. I hope so.
I went to the house tonight and unpacked some kitchen stuff. I was running out of boxes so I had to unpack some. I cleaned the kitchen and unpacked, it was nice and quite. Now I am off to bed, I am excited that my appliances will be there tomorrow. So till then. Remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come..................

We offically have a new home

Well I got the papers signed and the keys to the house today. YAY! So I took Michael to see the inside of the house tonight for the first time, good thing he liked it. LOL The girls are so excited to move into the new house, which makes me happy that they like the new house. Change can be hard esp. on little ones. The girls are planning out their room now. Lyndon said he likes the new house better than the one we are in now, so that is also good. And the best part they get to stay in their schools. Speaking of tomorrow is the first day of school. We went and met Hailee's teacher today and her name is Christy, I told Hailee she must be a good teacher because she has a great name, and it is even spelled like mine.She doesn't have any of her little girlfriends on her class, she does have two little boys that she likes from her class last year so at least she will know someone. We will see how she does tomorrow.
Well I mentioned that we order a washer, dryer, and refrigerator from Sears. YEAH don't order from them. According to the order you should hear from them within 48 hours of placing your order. I never heard from them, so I called them yesterday and they told me I had set up delivery for the 20th, now why would I do that when I am moving on the 10th. So they connected me to the delivery dept. Who said they couldn't deliver until the 20th because the washer and dryer were not in until then. So I got online looked the product up, typed in my zip code, and it said the refrigerator and washer were available the 11th, and the dryer not till the 20th. SO my step mom called this morning and they told her they couldn't deliver the refrigerator until the 31st and they weren't sire when the washer and dryer would be in. HMM that is not what it said online, and not what I was told last night, so we canceled the order and had to start over. So I went to HHGregg, and I did find some that I liked, then I went to Home Depot, and found a better price, and they would deliver on Friday. So I picked out new ones there and am very happy with them, in fact I got a bigger washer and dryer for less then Sears. So I am very happy about that.
Well I guess that is it for tonight I need to get packing. thanks for checking on us, till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love, today is gone and tomorrow may never come......................

Wish me luck

We are going to sign paper on the house in an hour. I will update later.

Sunday

Well I had a dream that my stomach was upset and what do you know i woke up and it was, so we stayed home today. Hailee was devastated that we did not go to Church today and couldn't understand that I didn't feel well. I felt bad and frustrated all at the same time. I am glad that she likes to go to church, but when you don't feel well, you just don't feel well nothing I can do about that. Anyway, the girls didn't really seem to mind once Hailee got over it, we stayed home and played and built a castle that you put balls into and they drop through a maze, even Garrett liked it. I showed him where to drop the balls and he loved to try to catch them before they got to the bottom. It was cute and everyone had a ball!(no pun intended) LOL Then we had to run get some formula and laundry det. It is tax free weekend here and it was a mad house. But we had to do it. The girls did very well and it wasn't as stressful as it could have been. Still no posting of the teachers for Hailee's school yet, hopefully tomorrow. I mean school starts on Thursday talk about waiting until the last minute. Hailee has asked me about a million times how many more days until school she is very excited. Lainey is equally excited and it will be a long month since she doesn't start until Sept 5. I am hoping to hear from the lady about the house tomorrow so we can move in this coming weekend and I can set up to get the washer, dryer and refrigerator delivered. As I was doing laundry today I realized this is possibly the last weekend I will do laundry here. i was excited and overwhelmed all in the same breath. I have alot of stuff packed already, but I still have alot not packed as well. So I am hoping I can get it all done. Michael made it home tonight and I know he is glad to be back. We are also glad to have him home. He will go on Tuesday to pick up Lyndon, and bring him back. I am hopeful that he doesn't come back with a bad attitude, or I don't think I can deal with that. He will have to return to his moms. He had made a big improvement before he left, and now he has been gone all summer and I hope that the improvement didn't go out the window. We shall see. Well that is all for tonight, till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come....................

New appliances

I am so excited. My step mom bought us new appliances for our new house. We needed a washer and dryer and a fridge. We had to order it today because Sears was offering rebates that ended today. I got a front load washer and dryer that I wanted so badly. And a new fridge with water and ice in the door, we have gotten spoiled to that. I thank my dad and step mom so much for this. They will be put to good use.


I got our room done last night and the nic nacs in the kitchen and the books and toys in the girls bedroom packed today. I will save the playroom for last, but I am making progress. The kids had some friends over to play today and they had a great time. Then I have to tell you the funniest story. I was on the phone with my mom outside, and I looked up and Lainey had taken her pants and diaper off and was sticking her butt checks to the glass door. It was so funny. I had to take a picture and send it to my mom. I laughed so hard. She is such a silly little girl. Anyway that was about our day except the trip to McDonald's where we will be visiting alot for the next few weeks since they are giving away build a bear toys. Thanks for checking on us. Till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come...

Packing up again

WE GOT THE HOUSE! YES we got it. Well pending the verification of employment. But if they call and they say Michael doesn't work there, then we have big problems. LOL Anyway so my goal for tonight is to get our downstairs packed. I am so very excited to get this house. I think it will be great for the kids as i see lots of kids in that neighborhood. So wish us luck. Thanks for all who prayed for this for us. Thank you all for checking on us. I must go finish packing so I will post more tomorrow.

Still no word

Well I made it out of the playroom. I didn't get anything packed but I got rid of 4 boxes of toys and got all the others put away. I still haven't heard anything on the house and I am getting VERY VERY ANXIOUS! I just tired to call her and got voice mail. I cant stand it, my stomach is in knots from the not knowing. I just want to know one way or the other. I hate not having control over things. Hopefully she will call soon and let me know something before I go crazy, well I am already crazy, but before I get any crazier. LOL Anyway I will update when I know something. Say a prayer for us that this works out for us.

Digging out of the playroom

Well I never heard back from the lady about the house. So of course I am thinking the worst, like she isn't going to rent it to us. But maybe not. More of the game I hate waiting. I am working on cleaning up the playroom, yes I have put it off until today. I did find the floor though tonight. So that is good. I still have TONS of toys to go through and put up, but I will get it done I plan on getting it done tonight and packing up as much as I can, because even if we don't get this house we are still planning on moving somewhere, so I will have to get it done. Luckily for me most of the girls stuff is kept in totes, so packing that room wont be as hard once I figure out what to keep and what to get rid of. I think I am as bad as the girls, I see things and I know they don't need but I keep them anyway. But I am trying. We just simply don't have room for all the stuff in their room. So wish me luck to get out if it. If you don't hear from me tomorrow you know I got lost in a pile of toys in there and someone should come check on the kids. LOL We didn't do much today, kind of laid low, but can I tell you I have some funny kids. Lainey has decided she is a DR, and she got her little DR kit and told me I am DR Lainey call me Dr Lainey.She got a little pink hat and it was her Dr hat. It was ever so cute.



Garrett managed a little more formula today, unfortunately he also spit up most of it. I am not sure what is going on, but I gave him some before his nap this afternoon, and after about 45min, he started to scream. I went in there and picked him he was all wet, and he smelled horrible, the bed was all wet as well. I am not sure how much he spit up but it was alot. Then tonight I gave it to him before bed, again about 30 min later he started to scream so I went in there, and he was again all wet as was the bed. He is on the only formula that is good for him, so I am not sure what to do now, I will have to call the Ped tomorrow and see what they say. The girls and Garrett were having the best time playing in his room tonight, Hailee was brushing his hair and they just played it was really cute.



Well I guess that is it for tonight i must go work on the room some more, Till next time remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.

House news

The lady called me about the rent house and pending talking to our landlady now the house is ours. So now I am egerly awating her calling me back. I HATE WAITING! Did I mention I HATE WAITING! I hope all goes well and we get the house I really like it. Say a prayer for us!

Grief Revisited

Have you ever lost someone that you knew would leave a huge hole in your life? Well for me that person was my grandma. Here I sit 12:33am and I cant sleep, Brad Paisley is singing on Jay Leno tonight, and I recall that Hailee and I went to that concert with my grandparents when Hailee was just 6 months old. I cant keep from thinking she would be here watching him, and enjoying it. Then tomorrow she would ask me if I saw him on the tonight show. Last night I was watching Americans got talent and one of the guys sang a song that reminded me of her and I cried. She has been gone for over a year now and the pain of her being gone is still just as fresh as the day she died. How do I get past it? How do I move on without her. Being here alone it always hits me harder, I have a break down almost every time Michael is gone. I guess I keep from doing it when he is here because I know that he hurts to, he hurts for the fact that this month will be one year since his mom died. It is also harder because she was so close I would call and talk to her about everything, and I cant do that. Yes I know that she is in Heaven and she is watching over me and she sees all the things I want to tell her, but I want to tell her these things, I want to hear her voice. I have prayed many times to hear her voice once more, even if only in a dream. And yes I have dreamed of her, but some how that is not good enough. I want more. I hurt so bad that she is gone and I just want her here. I hurt that I couldn't say goodbye. I hurt that I didn't realize how bad she was really. I hurt that my grandpa is alone and I cant do anything about it. I try, I try so hard each day to pretend that I am fine, but some days it is just so hard. Why? Why was it her time? I wasn't done with her here on earth. I know that God wanted her home and I cant change that, but I just miss her so much. I try not to talk about it to much because I know that people are tired of hearing it, so this is a way for me to release it, to get the feeling out. I found a poem that I have I copied and put her picture at the top it is called "If Tomorrow Starts Without Me" it is perfect for her. And I try to read it when I get down, but I just cant wrap my head around her not being here. There have been so many times I want to call her and tell her about the kids, the house, or just life in general, and I cant. I don't have that person anymore. I have no one. I want her so much. I love her so. I have this empty feeling that just wont go away. When does it stop? Does it ever? I am afraid that one day I will wake up and not remember the sound of her voice, or her smell. I am scared I wont remember the person she was. I want my kids to know that person, I want them to know that she was the greatest women ever. How can they know that? God how I miss her. ..........................

Is it August Already?

Wow! Garrett will be one this month. I cant believe my baby will be one. Today he had 22oz. of formula! YAY buddy I was so happy. He also seemed to be less fussy, so maybe he was just hungry. Although I don't know how that could be he eats all the time. If he isn't nursing, he is eating something. But I am hopeful that the formula will help him gain the needed weight. I blew up the pool for the kids today and even Garrett got it with the girls.

It was alot of fun for them until Lainey and Garrett were just tired beyond belief. Garrett wanted out, and poor Lainey was just beside herself, she was crying at everything. So off to bed for them. Hailee then wanted to get out to, so we all went inside. Michael is out of town until Sunday, so we are all alone. Which gets really lonely without friends. My friend Sherry is out of town, and will be home tomorrow so hopefully we can play with them when they get home. I spent nap time emailing people about fundraisers for my Light the Night walk, and I am hopeful that I will get some good response on that. Tonight I was reading a website about a little girl named Hannah who died a week and a half ago, she reminds me very much of Hailee. Poor Hannah drowned, and I cant imagine the feeling of the. Her mom has a blog that I have been reading and I can see how much she loves her children and I just cant imagine how hard it must be to loose one. She posted on one post about what a bad mom she was and how she could let that happen to her child. I don't think that at all. I just think God was ready for Hannah to come home, but I know that isn't much comfort, or I know it would not be to me. I looked at a slide show of Hannah and I could just see Hailee in so much of it, it really got to me. I thought am I a good mom? I want to be a fun mom, and I want the kids to know that I would lay down my life for them. I think tomorrow we will try to go somewhere fun and let the kids be kids, no yelling at them, no cleaning just kids. I feel like I am always on them to do something. I need to let up. But that was how I was raised and it is hard to undo that. But I am going to make an effort to just let it be and let them be kids and not worry about the other stuff. Because really in the long run does it matter what my house looks like? Nope it doesn't SO I am going to stop caring about it so much. Easier said than done I know, but I am going to do it. I want them to be fun, and not feel like I am always making them do something. So pray for me pray that I can let that control go. Anyway it is 9:47 and the girls are still not asleep so i need to go take care of them. Goodnight.