Well again I have let the time get away with no updates. But I am here tonight and not sure where to start. When I let the time get away I have so much to say that I wonder how I will put it all into words, and things I forget that have happened in the time that I last blogged. So I will do my best to catch up on our world.
Since my last post Step Son was admitted to the hospital for his asthma. We took him on Tuesday night and he was there until Friday morning. It was a long week for all of us that week, that was 2 weeks ago, and he is doing much better now. Probably alot of you are wondering why I don't talk about him more. Well he and I don't talk much. Me being his step mom I am not his favorite person, and we just have a few obstacles between us, so i don't mention him much in the fear that it will sound very negative and that is not how it is meant.He is a great kid, he does well in school and is good. So I cant complain much. He keeps to himself most of the time which makes it a little hard for me to blog about him since I rarely have a clue what is going on in his life.
The kids are all doing well, G is walking up a storm now, although he still finds crawling to be easier alot of times he is making great progress. He is such a cutie. I am working on updating the pictures on the website and will let you know when I have that done. It is getting late so I am not going to post any on here tonight but I will do that as well soon, I promise.
Me well I have been better, I feel like a failure, as a person, as a mom, and a wife. Today I came home and the water had been cut off. I did pay it through the bank on Friday, but it was late and had not gotten to them yet, and they wanted 144 to turn it back on, which I didn't have. I had to call my mom and she let me use her credit card to turn it back on, but this is just one more thing. We are behind on most of our bills, and it is very stressful, I am not sure how we will afford Christmas for the kids, and I just cant stand this anymore. It is almost too much to take. How did I let it get so bad? We moved here for a better life and that is not what we have gotten. We don't make enough to pay all the bills at the end of the month and we still have the house in Ohio, although we have it rented we don't get the full payment out of it, so we are still having to pay for it as well. I think it best if we let it go back to the bank, as we are never going to sell it and we aren't moving back to it, so why do we need it? I am just stressed beyond imagination, and I don't know what to do anymore. I need to go back to work, but how could I do that and pay for childcare? It just wouldn't work, and I could work at night, but when would I sleep? I don't know what to do. I would still like to move home and open my own business, but I am not sure how we can do that. I am at a loss. I feel like I want to throw in the towel, but I cant and I don't know how to fix it. Anyway sorry for the rant I so needed to get it out.
I am lonely, I miss my family, and the thought of Christmas at home is sounding so good if I could just go there and never come back that would be great, but I know that my problems would follow so that isn't the answer either. Please pray for us, pray that we find a way out of this hole we are in.
Well I am sorry for the ranting update. I hope to be more upbeat next time. Till them remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.......................
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
This is bound to be a long post since I haven't posted in so long.
Bcame to visit and we had a nice visit. It was so nice to see her and T. The first night they were here we went to the pumpkin patch to take pictures. We got there a little late and everyone was very grumpy so the pictures didn't turn out all that great, but it was worth the effort. I will post the pictures soon, I am not posting any pictures tonight since this will take so long to write all out. The next day we drove to the outlet mall while the girls were at school and did a little shopping and ate lunch. Then we headed home to get the girls, eat dinner and go trick or treating. The girls had a blast trick or treating. Poor T, she fell asleep in Bs arms before we got done. It was very cute. G also had a great time, although he was unsure of what was going on. On Thursday we spent a good part of the day relaxing, we were tired form all our adventures. Then the dog ran away and we spent about and hour and a half looking for him only to have him return to the house on his own. On Friday they left and I was sad to see them go. I hope we don't go another 3 years before we see each other.
Michael returned from Las Vegas on Saturday, and it was nice to have him home. We missed him.
My mom arrived this Thursday with her friend B, the girls were so excited to have her here, they had asked everyday when she would arrive. So on Thursday we went to eat and then came back to the house and hung out a little while before they went to the hotel for the night. On Friday was L's birthday so we started off the day with her opening her gifts, she was so excited and sang Happy birthday to herself most of the day. It was really cute. Then we went shopping for clothes for the kids before H got out of school. As we were shopping we received some very bad news. Our close friend Shane was found dead in his office Friday morning. It is unclear at this time if it was self inflicted or foul play. I have never wished for someone to be murdered, but I hope that Shane did not take his own life. He left behind a 21 year old son, and a 1 1/2 year old daughter and a wife. I am so saddened by this. I have known Shane for the better part of my life, and I refuse to believe that he would take his own life. I just cant believe that. Anyway, after we got over the shock of that and I was sure that my mom didn't need to go home(I would have totally understood if she did), I picked up H and we headed off to get all three kids a hair cut. H had decided that she wanted to cut her hair off, so we did, she was very very very unhappy with this decision, she cried and yelled for about 45 min. She wanted her hair back, or she wanted a wig. Her hair by the way looks very cute. Finally we got her calmed down and it was about 15 min before L's party, so we dressed them all on the car and headed to the party. L had a great time and was so excited to be a Chuck E. Cheese. She is truly a delightful little girl. After 2 hours of Chuck E. Cheese we had all had enough and headed home to get the girls packed to stay with Grandma. Poor G at this time had only had about a 45 min nap all day and he was being such a trooper but he was worn out. He was asleep before his head hit the bed. After her got in bed the girls and I headed to the hotel, I stayed for a little while and visited and then came home.
On Saturday I headed to the hotel about 9am and we all got ready and went to the toy store so L could pick out her Car the she was promised for her b-day. She got a red corvette. and she loved to drive it. She rode it all day today. After that we had lunch and headed home. Mom, B, and I went to the comedy zone last night. We had a great time. When we were dine we went back to the hotel where we talked until about 12:30am, then I came home and they went home this morning. The girls and I were very sad for them to leave, and I realized how much I miss my family and hate being so far from them.
That brings me to my next thing. I want to move home, and open my own business. After I Left there I said I would never go back, but I miss my family so much. So I spoke to Hubby about it, and if we can find a way to make it work we are going home. I miss my mom, my grandpa, my dad, my step mom, step dad, step sister, and all my cousins and aunts and uncles. I feel like I am an outsider in my own family because I live so far away. I hate it. I hate the feeling that I cant just go see my family when I want and I want that feeling. So I will try my hardest to make it work somehow. Please pray for us that we get it all worked out. I know alot of you know Michael is not happy in his job and this would be so nice for him as well. He misses his dad, and his grandma's health is not that great and he worries about nit seeing her again every time we go home.
While my mom was here she took the kids shopping and filled all of their closest, it was truly a blessing, I am very lucky yo have the family that I do. I could not ask for a better family. There was a time in mine and my moms life where we were not close at all. We wanted nothing to do with each other, and that has changed drastically. We were getting closer before my grandma died, but after she died I think both of us realized how precious family is and to cherish the time you have with them. I feel closer to my mom now than I ever have. Not so many years ago I would not have said that. I miss her, I miss that she is not here with my kids to see them grow up, and I miss that we cant go over for dinner or a movie or whatever.
anyway that is the past 2 weeks in a nut shell. BTW G is desperately close to walking. any day now.
till next time, remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love, today is gone and tomorrow may never come..............................
Bcame to visit and we had a nice visit. It was so nice to see her and T. The first night they were here we went to the pumpkin patch to take pictures. We got there a little late and everyone was very grumpy so the pictures didn't turn out all that great, but it was worth the effort. I will post the pictures soon, I am not posting any pictures tonight since this will take so long to write all out. The next day we drove to the outlet mall while the girls were at school and did a little shopping and ate lunch. Then we headed home to get the girls, eat dinner and go trick or treating. The girls had a blast trick or treating. Poor T, she fell asleep in Bs arms before we got done. It was very cute. G also had a great time, although he was unsure of what was going on. On Thursday we spent a good part of the day relaxing, we were tired form all our adventures. Then the dog ran away and we spent about and hour and a half looking for him only to have him return to the house on his own. On Friday they left and I was sad to see them go. I hope we don't go another 3 years before we see each other.
Michael returned from Las Vegas on Saturday, and it was nice to have him home. We missed him.
My mom arrived this Thursday with her friend B, the girls were so excited to have her here, they had asked everyday when she would arrive. So on Thursday we went to eat and then came back to the house and hung out a little while before they went to the hotel for the night. On Friday was L's birthday so we started off the day with her opening her gifts, she was so excited and sang Happy birthday to herself most of the day. It was really cute. Then we went shopping for clothes for the kids before H got out of school. As we were shopping we received some very bad news. Our close friend Shane was found dead in his office Friday morning. It is unclear at this time if it was self inflicted or foul play. I have never wished for someone to be murdered, but I hope that Shane did not take his own life. He left behind a 21 year old son, and a 1 1/2 year old daughter and a wife. I am so saddened by this. I have known Shane for the better part of my life, and I refuse to believe that he would take his own life. I just cant believe that. Anyway, after we got over the shock of that and I was sure that my mom didn't need to go home(I would have totally understood if she did), I picked up H and we headed off to get all three kids a hair cut. H had decided that she wanted to cut her hair off, so we did, she was very very very unhappy with this decision, she cried and yelled for about 45 min. She wanted her hair back, or she wanted a wig. Her hair by the way looks very cute. Finally we got her calmed down and it was about 15 min before L's party, so we dressed them all on the car and headed to the party. L had a great time and was so excited to be a Chuck E. Cheese. She is truly a delightful little girl. After 2 hours of Chuck E. Cheese we had all had enough and headed home to get the girls packed to stay with Grandma. Poor G at this time had only had about a 45 min nap all day and he was being such a trooper but he was worn out. He was asleep before his head hit the bed. After her got in bed the girls and I headed to the hotel, I stayed for a little while and visited and then came home.
On Saturday I headed to the hotel about 9am and we all got ready and went to the toy store so L could pick out her Car the she was promised for her b-day. She got a red corvette. and she loved to drive it. She rode it all day today. After that we had lunch and headed home. Mom, B, and I went to the comedy zone last night. We had a great time. When we were dine we went back to the hotel where we talked until about 12:30am, then I came home and they went home this morning. The girls and I were very sad for them to leave, and I realized how much I miss my family and hate being so far from them.
That brings me to my next thing. I want to move home, and open my own business. After I Left there I said I would never go back, but I miss my family so much. So I spoke to Hubby about it, and if we can find a way to make it work we are going home. I miss my mom, my grandpa, my dad, my step mom, step dad, step sister, and all my cousins and aunts and uncles. I feel like I am an outsider in my own family because I live so far away. I hate it. I hate the feeling that I cant just go see my family when I want and I want that feeling. So I will try my hardest to make it work somehow. Please pray for us that we get it all worked out. I know alot of you know Michael is not happy in his job and this would be so nice for him as well. He misses his dad, and his grandma's health is not that great and he worries about nit seeing her again every time we go home.
While my mom was here she took the kids shopping and filled all of their closest, it was truly a blessing, I am very lucky yo have the family that I do. I could not ask for a better family. There was a time in mine and my moms life where we were not close at all. We wanted nothing to do with each other, and that has changed drastically. We were getting closer before my grandma died, but after she died I think both of us realized how precious family is and to cherish the time you have with them. I feel closer to my mom now than I ever have. Not so many years ago I would not have said that. I miss her, I miss that she is not here with my kids to see them grow up, and I miss that we cant go over for dinner or a movie or whatever.
anyway that is the past 2 weeks in a nut shell. BTW G is desperately close to walking. any day now.
till next time, remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love, today is gone and tomorrow may never come..............................
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