Well again I have let the time get away with no updates. But I am here tonight and not sure where to start. When I let the time get away I have so much to say that I wonder how I will put it all into words, and things I forget that have happened in the time that I last blogged. So I will do my best to catch up on our world.
Since my last post Step Son was admitted to the hospital for his asthma. We took him on Tuesday night and he was there until Friday morning. It was a long week for all of us that week, that was 2 weeks ago, and he is doing much better now. Probably alot of you are wondering why I don't talk about him more. Well he and I don't talk much. Me being his step mom I am not his favorite person, and we just have a few obstacles between us, so i don't mention him much in the fear that it will sound very negative and that is not how it is meant.He is a great kid, he does well in school and is good. So I cant complain much. He keeps to himself most of the time which makes it a little hard for me to blog about him since I rarely have a clue what is going on in his life.
The kids are all doing well, G is walking up a storm now, although he still finds crawling to be easier alot of times he is making great progress. He is such a cutie. I am working on updating the pictures on the website and will let you know when I have that done. It is getting late so I am not going to post any on here tonight but I will do that as well soon, I promise.
Me well I have been better, I feel like a failure, as a person, as a mom, and a wife. Today I came home and the water had been cut off. I did pay it through the bank on Friday, but it was late and had not gotten to them yet, and they wanted 144 to turn it back on, which I didn't have. I had to call my mom and she let me use her credit card to turn it back on, but this is just one more thing. We are behind on most of our bills, and it is very stressful, I am not sure how we will afford Christmas for the kids, and I just cant stand this anymore. It is almost too much to take. How did I let it get so bad? We moved here for a better life and that is not what we have gotten. We don't make enough to pay all the bills at the end of the month and we still have the house in Ohio, although we have it rented we don't get the full payment out of it, so we are still having to pay for it as well. I think it best if we let it go back to the bank, as we are never going to sell it and we aren't moving back to it, so why do we need it? I am just stressed beyond imagination, and I don't know what to do anymore. I need to go back to work, but how could I do that and pay for childcare? It just wouldn't work, and I could work at night, but when would I sleep? I don't know what to do. I would still like to move home and open my own business, but I am not sure how we can do that. I am at a loss. I feel like I want to throw in the towel, but I cant and I don't know how to fix it. Anyway sorry for the rant I so needed to get it out.
I am lonely, I miss my family, and the thought of Christmas at home is sounding so good if I could just go there and never come back that would be great, but I know that my problems would follow so that isn't the answer either. Please pray for us, pray that we find a way out of this hole we are in.
Well I am sorry for the ranting update. I hope to be more upbeat next time. Till them remember to hug and kiss your family and tell them you love them, today is gone and tomorrow may never come.......................
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