Is it August Already?

Wow! Garrett will be one this month. I cant believe my baby will be one. Today he had 22oz. of formula! YAY buddy I was so happy. He also seemed to be less fussy, so maybe he was just hungry. Although I don't know how that could be he eats all the time. If he isn't nursing, he is eating something. But I am hopeful that the formula will help him gain the needed weight. I blew up the pool for the kids today and even Garrett got it with the girls.

It was alot of fun for them until Lainey and Garrett were just tired beyond belief. Garrett wanted out, and poor Lainey was just beside herself, she was crying at everything. So off to bed for them. Hailee then wanted to get out to, so we all went inside. Michael is out of town until Sunday, so we are all alone. Which gets really lonely without friends. My friend Sherry is out of town, and will be home tomorrow so hopefully we can play with them when they get home. I spent nap time emailing people about fundraisers for my Light the Night walk, and I am hopeful that I will get some good response on that. Tonight I was reading a website about a little girl named Hannah who died a week and a half ago, she reminds me very much of Hailee. Poor Hannah drowned, and I cant imagine the feeling of the. Her mom has a blog that I have been reading and I can see how much she loves her children and I just cant imagine how hard it must be to loose one. She posted on one post about what a bad mom she was and how she could let that happen to her child. I don't think that at all. I just think God was ready for Hannah to come home, but I know that isn't much comfort, or I know it would not be to me. I looked at a slide show of Hannah and I could just see Hailee in so much of it, it really got to me. I thought am I a good mom? I want to be a fun mom, and I want the kids to know that I would lay down my life for them. I think tomorrow we will try to go somewhere fun and let the kids be kids, no yelling at them, no cleaning just kids. I feel like I am always on them to do something. I need to let up. But that was how I was raised and it is hard to undo that. But I am going to make an effort to just let it be and let them be kids and not worry about the other stuff. Because really in the long run does it matter what my house looks like? Nope it doesn't SO I am going to stop caring about it so much. Easier said than done I know, but I am going to do it. I want them to be fun, and not feel like I am always making them do something. So pray for me pray that I can let that control go. Anyway it is 9:47 and the girls are still not asleep so i need to go take care of them. Goodnight.